Overwhelm is REAL! I didn't know that the constant anxiety and frustration I was feeling was being caused by something so simple, living life.
As a woman, a black woman at that, we are taught to be strong. Don't let anything break you. Be independent. Be a good wife. Be a good Mother. Don't focus on yourself, that's selfish. As a young girl, I watched my mother struggle with her own demons that left untreated caused her to seek unhealthy options to cope. My Mother to this day hates crying because she was taught that if you cry, even as a female, you're weak.
So when I became a wife, a mother, a "Woman," I unintentionally took on my Mothers traits of not crying, carry the family on your back no matter what. Be independent, don't let a man know you need him for anything. Don't be vulnerable because people see that as a weakness.
It was those traits that had me ready to throw my hands up at 35 and say "F" it, all of it. I was living in a constant state of frustration. Overwhelm was a way of life, I didn't feel stress I didn't feel right. My mood was f'd up and unfortunately, I took that out on those around me. I didn't know how to "be happy" because I had no idea what that looked like, I had never witnessed anyone "be happy". We were all just existing. Working to survive, not even live, just survive.
This the same time that I decided to stop being fearful and get my Life Coaching Certification. It was through this process that I experienced something very pivotal in my life. During one of my mock coaching sessions with one of my peers, she suggested that I try meditation to help me calm the noise and find peace.
OMG! THIS...CHANGED...MY...LIFE! Once I started practicing meditation it created what I now know as Mindfulness.
Mindfulness- a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique. ~ reference
I started to practice meditation when things started to get overwhelming and this allowed me to start to be aware of what was happening and why and also allowed me to choose my response (in most cases). The main thing is once you're aware of something you can change it. We can't change what we can't see OURSELVES. People can point things out to you all day but if YOU don't see it you won't see a need to change it.
That was five years ago. Since then I've elevated in my professional career. I went from living in clutter and chaos to now organized and in a beautiful space that I create peace for my family in. I recognized that the relationship I was in wasn't healthy for neither of us and we had met our end and so now we're divorced and both living very different lives that we're both happy with. Most importantly, I found me!
I know you've heard of meditation and maybe you don't believe it will work for you because you have a hard time sitting still and trust me, as a Mother of 5 I did too. Take five minutes and use the video below to sit and calm your mind. You can take deep breaths in and out to help you do this or if you're like me and you just can't stop thinking, focus your energy on thinking about all of the things you have to be grateful for, even in the current climate where the Coronavirus has made things uncertain and scary.
Taking time to be intentional about practicing mindfulness will change your life. In a world where we deal with so much anxiety on a daily basis, meditation helps you to create calm amongst the chaos which in turn helps you create clear intentions which will then translate to change.
If you're ready to take the next steps to change your life and create more strategies to help you create a peaceful and happy life, book your coaching session today!
Life Strategist KG